0 He is Risen!

happy Easter, dear ones!

i hope you are enjoying your Easter Sunday, spending time with family, eating to your heart's content, and reflecting on the miracle of Jesus' resurrection. i also hope that you are not forced to come into contact with any Easter bunny costumes. because they are terrifying and quite haunting if we are being honest. i went to Saint Patrick's Church of Ireland in Greystones today and while it was lovely, i quite missed getting to celebrate with my family at home in the States.

i was sent an Easter e-mail from my father this morning that had a breathtaking article attached. i think this article (written by a mother, intended for her son) needs to be heard. i have included an excerpt, but i highly recommend reading it in its entirety on Ann Voskamp's blog A Holy Experience.

"Real Manhood means you don’t get drunk, and a man can get drunk on a lot more than alcohol.

Men drunk on power, on control, on ego, lose more than all inhibition — they lose The Way, their own souls. Men drunk on anything can destroy everything and real manhood thirsts for righteousness.

Real Manhood means peer pressure only makes you stronger in Christ.

Real Manhood means you take responsibility for your body.

A woman’s immodesty is never an excuse for a man’s irresponsibility. Responsible men — are response-able. This is your job. A woman has her’s. Focus on yours. Real Men don’t focus responsibility on women staying “pure” but on men not pressuring. (Truth is, none of us are pure, Son, and the onus is on you, Son, to pursue holiness.)

Your Dad and I need you to know:

Real Men never pressure but treasure. No one tries to crush a diamond.

Because pressuring a girl? Is blackmail, coercion and repeated robbery attempts. You’re meant to be a man, not the mafia. When you’re pressuring a girl for what you want — is your flag to lean into Jesus who will give you what you need.

The thing is: Real Manhood means you hallow womanhood. A woman isn’t a toy to amuse your lusts, a thing to aggrandize your ego, a trophy to adorn your manhood. A woman is of your rib, who birthed your rib, who cupped your rib, who is meant to be gently cherished at your rib, at your side.

The culture of boys will be boys — means girls will be garbage and you were made for more than this, Son. Your Dad and I believe boys will be godly and boys will be honoring and boys will be humble."

i think this not only shows a beautiful representation of what a Christian man is supposed to be, but also challenges me as a Christian women. as girls, we are quick to insult men, always complaining that we wish there were more 'good men' in the world, without ever asking ourselves if we ourselves are being good women. we have expectations and lists of what we want in a man, but do we challenge ourselves to grow in Christ and be the type of woman that the 'good man' we talk about would want to be with? if we want someone to devote their life to Christ, living a life of grace and truth, do we also live up to that expectation ourselves?

men and women of Christ both need to strive to live a Godly life, no matter what, not allowing ourselves to be conformed and influenced by the world and its set of expectations. we need to honor and respect each other, not de-valuing either gender.


He is Risen....He is Risen indeed!

0 hot mess

it can be downright exhausting to meet all the expectations society forces upon us. there are so many molds that we are expected to fit in and a long list of beauty requirements being thrown at us from every direction by different forms of media. we can never be skinny enough, have flawless enough skin......there is always a beauty product to fix us.

in fact, The Real Truth About Beauty study conducted by the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty found that only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful. this breaks my heart. the world has warped us into thinking perfection is a certain ideal and that we must reach it to be truly beautiful and to have any hope at happiness and that just isn't true.  true beauty is not a physical attribute that must be sought after through plastic surgery, flawless skin, and unattainable bodies; true beauty is an essence that was instilled in every human being since birth when God Himself created all of us, as He handcrafted each individual to be exactly who they are.

today i had to walk across dublin in the freezing cold with high winds and piercing rain for several hours and in the process was soaked from head to toe. needless to say, our entire group looked like a hot mess. (emphasis most certainly not on the hot) we looked sad. and cold. and kind of like dogs that had just rolled around in a puddle. situations like this and having to deal with irish weather have taught me (more like forced me) into not caring about my physical appearance. if i want to look good here.....well too bad. because irish rain won't allow for it.

do you want to know the great thing? it doesn't matter. in fact, when i am not worrying about looking good or composed or classy, i am so much happier. i don't have to worry about anything other than being me. and loving life. and that is beautiful.

i don't want to worry about meeting the worlds expectations anymore. i end up exhausted and the harder i try the more unhappy i am. i want to be able to rock my ghetto sweatpants and no make-up, i want to dance like an awkward fool, i want to laugh till i cry.  i don't want to wait for people to aprove of my life, my appearance, and my behavior.  i want to live life and soak up every moment. i want to take a hold of this life and live it, regardless of the opinions of others.

embrace who you are. be crazy or awkward or silly or whoever it is you are, my dear.

0 poetry

today it is so bitterly cold that it permeates my whole being and i nearly turn into a frozen mass rendered incapable of functioning as a normal human. (even while i sit next to a heater on a bench with three other people, huddling together for warmth). not only is it cold, it is raining and frozen streams of hate pelt you in the face whenever you step outside. welcome to ireland.

days like today call for poetry. poetry has a way of highlighting the beauty in life even when everything else seems to be going wrong. poetry fills me with hope and warms my heart even when my physical body is frozen. i hope this will also add some joy and beauty to your day

so cheer up, dear friends. read poetry. laugh. dream big dreams. and enjoy life. 

Via Source: Pablo Neurda's Sonnet XVII

 

 

Via Source: Typewriter Series #344 by Tyler Knott Gregson

Via Source: William Shakespeare

Via Source: Typewriter Series #358 by Tyler Knott Gregson

i love you much(most beautiful darling)

i love you much(most beautiful darling)

more than anyone on the earth and i
like you better than everything in the sky

-sunlight and singing welcome your coming

although winter may be everywhere
with such a silence and such a darkness
no one can quite begin to guess

(except my life)the true time of year-

and if what calls itself a world should have
the luck to hear such singing(or glimpse such
sunlight as will leap higher than high
through gayer than gayest someone’s heart at your each

nearness)everyone certainly would(my
most beautiful darling)believe in nothing but love

-e.e. cummings

0 secrets

we are very selective in who we show the real us to. the emotion-filled, imperfect, un-filtered us. to an extent, this is necessary in that it isn't healthy to pour out your soul to every stranger you meet on the street (that would be quite alarming and exhausting actually). but at the same time, why can't we open ourselves up and share our genuine stories and pasts with those around us? and don't worry, i am the master of the whole 'i am perfectly fine and have it all together and have absolutely nothing to share with you whatsoever, so you can move along' facade, when in reality i am struggle-pantsing it. so trust me, i understand the fear.

it is scary...terrifying actually. but allowing ourselves to be known by those we love and trust is one of the most beautiful experiences.  i have slowly been learning how to open myself up to people in my life, but that process was kicked into high gear this week. we were forced to share our testimonies to a room full of 31 people for class. i was upset. and scared. and nervous. i had half a mind to pretend i had mad cow disease, so i didn't have to talk about my life. but alas, i went to class. and i shared. not even just the surface level stuff, my dear friends, i shared my real story.  and as i was sharing i realized how worth it it was to open myself up to these people who had developed into family over the past month.

allow people to know you this year, dear ones.

“What we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else. It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are . . . because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier . . . for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own . . . ”  From Frederick Buechner's Telling Secrets

0 chocolate crystals

hello lovely friends! i hope that your midwestern snow storm has subsided and you have not been buried underneath a mountain of snowflakes. this past weekend was quite cold and rainy in ireland, but thankfully no snow decided to fall. we spent the weekend in kilkenny, visiting castles and exploring deserted ruins. to avoid the rain we visited waterford crystal factory where we not only walked around the glittering paradise itself, but we also had a tour of the factory and saw artisans making the blown glass and crystal. (one man has worked there for 40 years. talked about dedication) it was beautiful and i have a whole new appreciation for everything sparkly and glittery.

  

we had some free time and got to explore little cafes and stores on friday. we went to this divine chocolate shop with hot chocolate made from a chocolate fountain. we were in love.

 

i also discovered my new favorite boutique. it was called peaches (naturally). and had sparkles and classy dresses everwhere. i melted. and fell in love. unfortunately, i could barely afford to breathe the air in there and thought my rain drenched self would be kicked out for stepping foot into such a classy place. se la vie.

 
 

0 enough.

freshman year of college i gradually developed the fear that i was not enough and for a while it continued to plague me. i felt the ever present need to be kind enough, selfless enough, smart enough, funny enough, beautiful enough....and the list went on. if i wasn't 'enough' by everyone else's standards then they would leave my life and i would be alone. at least that's what i thought. i felt the constant need to attain perfection, but the more i strove for this unrealistic ideal the more overwhelmed i felt.   

about a year ago i wrote: "perfect. perfect, an adjective, meaning 'conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type.'  if conforming is a concept so thoroughly looked down upon, why is it that perfection is something expected and sought after by so many.  not only is it an impossible ideal, it is a paradox of desiring and expecting something whose very definition is negative and undesired. by being perfect, you must conform, but to be perfect you have to stand strong without buying into conformity.  i am exhausted. exhausted from attempting to meet everyone else’s expectations and taking care of their needs to no avail." 

it doesn't have to be this way.

over the past month i have been learning that on my own i am not enough and i am not strong enough. and i don't have to be. because God is strong enough and He is the only one that can sustain me, giving my life purpose and meaning. and He loves me and He loves you exactly the way He created us, unconditionally. if i constantly struggle to meet people's expectations i am finding my value and worth in something that will never satisfy me.

one of my favorite blogs, Good Women Project, has an article entitled On Being Not Enough by a woman named Emily that i recently stumbled upon that perfectly conveys what so many people (especially myself) need to realize. 

"Boundaries are about letting go of my desire to save the world, and instead joining with a God who has and is actively redeeming every situation and person. So I just get to be me. My identity is no longer consumed with being enough. And I don’t have to demand any other human be enough to mask my own not-enoughness. My old desires show up now and then, but I can recognize that urge to “be enough” for the lie that it is, and continue healing. I don’t have to be enough for you, my family, my friends, my job, my romance, my dreams, my city, or my God.

I just get to be me. Silly, ridiculous, free, friendly, small, diligent, strange, loving, fit, clever, average, learning, creative, sexy, confident, fantastic, intelligent, strong, lovable, smart, flawed, beautiful, not-enough me.

Because Jesus is enough. Because God’s love for the world is enough. Because God’s love for me is enough.

And that’s the most freeing limitation I’ve ever believed."

0 glitter baby

i adore cats. with my whole heart. and my cat of 11 years died last week while i was out of the country. i am a terrible human for abandoning my 28 pound helplessly obsese cat at home to face his demise. (okay so he was the size of a small mountian lion, so he wasn't exactly helpless.)

because i am an odd individual, my friends and i held a mock funeral for this large feline. we celebrated his life in the way that seemed most appropriate: we tossed tea and glitter into the irish sea and pretended they were his ashes (no worries: we used the contents of multiple tea bags to accurately represent his large stature). may he party like the ke$ha loving party animal he was in kitten heaven. now before i get emotional, please appreciate this hilarious senior picture-esque photo of my cat, working it like a model for 11 years. what a diva.

0 falling slowly

our group had the opportunity to see the musical 'once' performed at the Gaiety theater in Dublin this past week. talk about spectacular, breathtaking, lovely, magical.....i could go on, but i am sure you get the point.  anyways, it was a cherished experience and getting to hear 'falling slowly' performed live was just as perfect as i had imagined it would be.

spoiler alert: it does not end happily ever after. the guy does not get the girl. they do not ride off into the sunset together. and all your questions are not answered. i am a hopeless romantic. even saying that entirely understates how much i adore love and fairy tales. not only am i a hopeless romantic, but i am also very passionate and have the tendency to feel things deeply, swooning, ooing, and awe-ing over anything related to love and becoming an incapacitated puddle of sappy emotion at the snap of a finger (well more like at the sight of a kitten or a wedding video).  so sad endings are a struggle for me because i want to believe everything will always be perfect and predictable. but sometimes it doesn't happen like that. sometimes it does, but not in the time or manner in which you expected. sometimes you have to move on from what you thought would be your ideal fairytale and realize God has sometime else in store for you.

life is unexpected. you can plan, but some of your plans will inevitably fail.. but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. maybe we need to learn to embrace heartbreak, appreciating how it shapes us, while also appreciating the fairy tale moments as they come (whether that means a fairy tale with a prince or a fairytale where you embrace being a fiercely independent woman). we need to take time to be fully present in each moment, allowing ourselves to fall slowly into love, allowing ourselves to step away from love when it isn't meant to be, and allowing ourselves to be confident and secure in being single.

find joy in whatever situation you are in and be fully present in it.  never let life pass you by because you are waiting for that perfect ending when you could be appreciating the beautiful story that is unfolding before you.

"Time is not ours, it is given to us, it is received by us. Time is promised to be short and fleeting. You can miss it. You will miss it, most of it. You can spend your whole life chasing it and come up empty. Or you can let it catch you and hold you and teach you." Jill Aspergren